Posted: June 11th, 2015

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Upon taking the emotional intelligence assessment, I scored a 75 in personal competence with a 69 in self-awareness and a 81 in self-management. In social competence I scored 78 with a 83 in social awareness and 73 in relationship management.
I was actually quite surprised that I scored a 69 in self-awareness. I feel that I do perceive my emotions and am aware of when they happen. I do know that I have had problems how I respond to certain situations and perhaps respond a little more vehemently than others have. My boss would say this is the “gaelic” in me and my father would tell me it’s my Irish heritage!
Otherwise, I do agree with the findings. There is always room for improvement, and I do feel that I am probably more socially aware than the average person.
I received the following feedback from a close friend/coworker:
You are non-confrontational for the most part and pretty laid back. (Not a bad thing) Sometimes you’ll take on more than you should, overextending yourself and becoming frustrated (with reason) with others that aren’t pulling their weight.
I believe you absolutely know who’s influencing your emotional state. You know who and what pushes your buttons but you sacrifice your own emotional health in an effort to avoid bad feelings within the group.
If you only knew how much stronger an effect you would have on your environment if you weren’t carrying others’ baggage and responsibilities. You’re already very respected, just imagine how you could positively affect those around you if you weren’t frustrated and making up for what others aren’t doing. Allowing others to continue take advantage of your good nature may seem like the right thing at the time but the problem is still there and it only gets bigger.

I believe out of these 4 sections I need to develop relationship management the most. This was also evident in the StrengthsFinder Assessment, where relationship building is not my strongest attribute.
To fix this I will utilize self awareness strategy #11: to list my core values and beliefs, listing things that occurred that I am not proud of doing. This will help set me up to think before I act – which is a huge problem for me. Typically I act before I think.

Secondly, I will need to determine my triggers. I do not believe that I know these as well I want to know them. By writing these down I can improve my score in self-management.

I also never realized my emotions can have a ripple effect on others. In order to this I need to reflect on my behavior and watch how my behavior affects others. I am in charge of how I am affected by issues and problems and can choose how I effect others.

Some researchers argue that emotional intelligence (EI) plays more into a good leader than intellect (Sadri, 2012). Evidence to date indicates that higher levels of EI leads to greater effectiveness in a leadership role (Sadri, 2012). Increased intelligence does not correlate to effective leadership, rather building personal relationships with others. Success as a leader includes knowing when to go to war and when to be quiet. I learned this from my current director who has gained much success as a leader in the healthcare system. It is like having children in knowing how to pick the battles that matter and will make a difference overall.

Sadri, G. (2012). Emotional Intelligence and Leadership Development. Public Personnel Management, 41(3), 535-548.