Proposal final draft and review notes Essay

hi,

I have attached the proposal ,these are my classmates comments :
first comment :Hi Ali, Your proposal was very interesting. I’m interested in any health related topic so this was definitely something I enjoyed reading. Your purpose was very clear and you used a lot of ideas and knowledge to sell your product (computer billing system). For design, I really liked how you laid out your ideas. You included problems that society is facing today with this system and you were able to include features and benefits from this system, which it made very appealing. As I read along in your paper I noticed a few run-ons. I also noticed the lay out throughout the entire paper. I think something you should focus now on doing is attracting your reader. The way your paper was formatted could be more persuading and easier to read. Yes you have added charts and bullets, but I don’t feel like they were added in the correct format/ lay-out. I think it would attract your reader more if it was formatted differently. What I mean by that is make your paper “look” like a paper you want read. Make it look easy and enjoyable. I think that’s one way to attract your reader, besides your introduction. Other than that, your purpose was very clear and to me it sounded like you had thoroughly thought this out. Good work!

second comment:Ali, I could tell that you are very knowledgeable on this subject with the statements in your paper. Your tables were very easy to read and interpret, and was a great way to display some of your information. The conclusion ties up your proposal nicely. I would recommend that you watch your wording in some of your sentences.You use a lot of the same words over and over in your paper. Try to come up with some other ways to communicate what you are trying to say. Your bullet list is very long and should be shortened because it is overwhelming. It is supposed to be in memo format, so make sure you have the date, to, from, and the subject at the top left of your paper. There should also be headings for each section of your proposal. You have some really good points! You just need to make sure it is in the right format and is not repetitive!

third comment: You have some very good ideas in your essay but it is kinda hard to read, I would suggest in my opinion reading it out loud to yourself so you can hear where the catches are. I also don’t know if this is correct but in the directions it does say to follow memo format maybe look into that and see if you can make your writing more accommodating to that specific format other then that it sounds great. good luck throughout the semester and I hope that this helped.

forth comment:Use headings and memo (or letter) format. Single space. See sample in book.
and this is what you need to do : (re-correct the mistake ):
Please post your final draft Include at the end of the document up to 150 words describing the peer review process. What advice did you receive? How did you process and respond to it? Why and how is this final product better than the rough draft that preceded it? Push yourself to engage this part of the process.
thank you

Order a unique copy of this paper
(550 words)

Approximate price: $22

Basic features
  • Free title page and bibliography
  • Unlimited revisions
  • Plagiarism-free guarantee
  • Money-back guarantee
  • 24/7 support
On-demand options
  • Writer’s samples
  • Part-by-part delivery
  • Overnight delivery
  • Copies of used sources
  • Expert Proofreading
Paper format
  • 275 words per page
  • 12 pt Arial/Times New Roman
  • Double line spacing
  • Any citation style (APA, MLA, Chicago/Turabian, Harvard)

Our guarantees

Delivering a high-quality product at a reasonable price is not enough anymore.
That’s why we have developed 5 beneficial guarantees that will make your experience with our service enjoyable, easy, and safe.

Money-back guarantee

You have to be 100% sure of the quality of your product to give a money-back guarantee. This describes us perfectly. Make sure that this guarantee is totally transparent.

Read more

Zero-plagiarism guarantee

Each paper is composed from scratch, according to your instructions. It is then checked by our plagiarism-detection software. There is no gap where plagiarism could squeeze in.

Read more

Free-revision policy

Thanks to our free revisions, there is no way for you to be unsatisfied. We will work on your paper until you are completely happy with the result.

Read more

Privacy policy

Your email is safe, as we store it according to international data protection rules. Your bank details are secure, as we use only reliable payment systems.

Read more

Fair-cooperation guarantee

By sending us your money, you buy the service we provide. Check out our terms and conditions if you prefer business talks to be laid out in official language.

Read more

Calculate the price of your order

550 words
We'll send you the first draft for approval by September 11, 2018 at 10:52 AM
Total price:
$26
The price is based on these factors:
Academic level
Number of pages
Urgency

Order your paper today and save 10% with the discount code HDCOVID10